it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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