so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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