Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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