it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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