should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
