Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
