So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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