there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
