He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
