that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
