dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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