So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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