Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
the liver wants what the liver wants
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
