Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
