There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
