nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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