I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
