I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
