just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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