Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
