Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
