U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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