I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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