doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
