Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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