I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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