i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize