We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The best revenge is premature balding
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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