i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm getting married
To pizza
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
