Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
