You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
