waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
