Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
