so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
