I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
