just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
