we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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