I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
