I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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