the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
