I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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