my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
