Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
