Pants 0. Shit 1.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
