dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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