dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
You can't motorboat a personality
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
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