so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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