My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
