nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
