the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
