Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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